i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
