I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Two words: nipple clamps
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