his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
