We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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