you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
