PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
