The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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