I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
