I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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