That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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