He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
