i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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