Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
