The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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