He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
