Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
