what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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