Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize