Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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