maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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