He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
