O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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