how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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