I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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