How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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