We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
