Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
