I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
