OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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