Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
