And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
