Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
