When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry about my life...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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