Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
