Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
