So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.