i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.