Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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(585): View more from New York

i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love

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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

(313): View more from Michigan

I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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(314): View more from Missouri

hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?

(573): View more from Missouri

pat the guy you slept with

(314): View more from Missouri

still need a last name

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!

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(303): View more from Colorado

Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.

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