get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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