i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
