i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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