Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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