I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
