Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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