GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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