my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize