he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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