It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
