I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
