it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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