Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
