Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
