We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize