Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
