just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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