I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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