how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
