Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
