Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
