He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
