They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
