She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
