OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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