Non-Jews are for practice
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
