Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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