i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
