so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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