She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
