I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
