Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
