i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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